Nobody wants to be judged.
Nobody wants to be around those who make him/her feel “wrong.”
When you make people feel like crap, you may convince them to adopt your point-of-view (POV) temporarily. Buy your product, once. Join your program, once.
But you know full well that it’s not going to last.
When your POV is not in alignment with their values or beliefs, your recommended course of action is not going to resonate nor yield sustainable or meaningful results for them.
Most of us have bought products or programs because some sales copy made us feel inadequate, guilty or “wrong” and gave us the impression that we need to buy that whatever cantaloupe widget to fix the problem or even ourselves.
Yet more often than not we let the program/training/cantaloupe widget sit on our hard drive and couldn’t bring ourselves to implement, let alone get results.
It’s not that the strategies and tactics aren’t sound. It’s more likely that because the approach and worldview are different from our own, and the misalignment doesn’t inspire us to take action and create meaningful results.
It’s nobody’s fault. The fact that I’m different from you doesn’t make you or me wrong.
It takes a lot of awareness to be truly inclusive and open-minded. Not open-minded according to what “open-minded” people should look and sound like.
It doesn’t mean you’ve to be plain vanilla so you don’t offend anybody.
The first thing I tell my clients is to have a POV. If they aren’t willing to step up and put a stake in the ground, they’re fired.
One of my favorite exercises to get clients to draw the line in the sand so they can nail their unique positioning is to ask – what would I say or do, if I were to offend XYZ (who are most likely “authorities” that hold some “holier than thou” opinions.)
While having a POV, we also need to acknowledge that our unique POV is just one perspective.
We do what’s TRUE for ourselves, and we also allow others to do what’s true for them.
If your POV resonates with a community, they’re your people. They’ll be naturally drawn to you because you’re YOU.
It’s not fair for others to make you conform to their POV, and it’s not fair either to be “holier than thou” and make others feel bad when they don’t share your opinions – even if you’re an expert in your field.
We don’t have to make others wrong, or feel like crap, in order to convince them that they need to buy our stuff to make themselves “right.”
Strong-arming people into buying your products or services by making them feel judged, criticized or scrutinized can backfire.
If you’re clear about YOUR values, beliefs and convictions, and communicate them congruently, those who share the same perspectives will be drawn to you.
When your clients share your POV, they can use your products and services in the most effective way possible. They get results, and you get loyal clients who spread the word for you. Win-win.
Write from a place of compassion. Invite conversation.
Being a thought leader or an expert doesn’t mean you’ve to communicate your idea in a “my way or the highway” manner, putting yourself on the pedestal.
The fear of not being good enough, and/or the fear of being criticized drive us to become defensive and put up a wall that prevents us from creating resonance with our audience.
Instead of convincing those who have a different worldview that they need your stuff by using tactics that aren’t in alignment with YOU (which is a lot of work anyway,) why not speak to the inkling of those who shares your Truth… let them know that you’re there for them. Let them know that you share their POV. Let them know that they can be successful by sticking with what’s true for them.
When you can stop making others wrong for not having the same POV as you do, you also develop the awareness that will help you become discerning and selective (and “immune”) to all the trainings, programs, tools and resources that promise to solve all your “pain and sufferings.”
You develop the awareness that other’s “success formula” are not “absolute.” They may not be true for you. What work for the creators – their unique circumstances, personality and strengths – may not work for you.
You’re not wrong if you don’t follow what they say you should do. You’re not incompetent if you aren’t getting results “as advertised.”
You develop the confidence that will support you to find the most suitable and powerful expression for your talents, experiences and superpowers – an expression that most resonates with your community – and get off the marketing hamster wheel for good.